Valentine's Day. An open letter to men...
All right, Valentine's Day is almost here... Now, I'll be honest – I'm writing this as a call to arms for the gentlemen out there but, ladies, I think you'll appreciate what is being written herein. Plus I might suggest that you pass this along to your beau as your Valentine's Day may depend upon it...
Valentine's Day. A day of joy for some, a day of dread for others. The cynical always argue that it's a 'fake holiday made by Hallmark', that it's all about selling jewelry and chocolate (note that tons of the Super Bowl ads were hyping just that, right before big ol'V-Day) and that it's a commercialized mess. But the romantics see it as a day to celebrate love and relationships and that which makes life great. Well, no matter how you view it, let's have a boo at how this all happened, shall we?
Guys, you can skip this paragraph and go to the next one if you don't want the history lesson. —> Well, the long and short of it is, eons back in the day during the Roman Empire, some guy by the name of Valentinus became imprisoned because he was performing weddings for soldiers and ministering to Christians – this, of course, being against the Empire's Laws. During his imprisonment, he healed the daughter of his prison guard and on his way to be beheaded, legend states, he wrote 'from your Valentine' as a farewell to her. This, undoubtedly, became the root of the whole Valentine's Day card tradition. As Valentinus became Sainted in the Church and honoured with his own special day, it became associated with romantic love in the circle of Geoffrey Chaucer in the High Middle Ages, when the tradition of courtly love flourished. <— History lesson over, read on.
Okay, here we have it. So some guy dies, the Father of English Literature romanticizes his efforts, Hallmark commercializes it, and now we have Valentine's Day. Ho hum, twiddle my thumbs...
Now men, I know you're thinking, Why should I bother playing along? Well, first of all, you need to understand the perspective that girls have on the subject. We men like to measure our successes with valiant war stories of plays we did in sports, of money we've enriched ourselves with, sharp cars we drive, and how much we valiantly drank at the club while enriching ourselves with sharp girls that we drove. But for the ladies, they don't stockpile trophies, pretend not to brag about wealth, only talk about cars in reference to colour, and – quite frankly – pretend that they never got driven by the drunk guy at the club.
What women brag about are their relationships...
They like to talk to their BFFs about how great their man is – how special he treats her. How warm and fuzzy she feels from his touch, smell and caress. Let's face it, in our current day and age, women don't really need men anymore. If they need a baby, they can go to the sperm bank. If they need some money, they get a job. Sex? Well, many options for that at the ol'sex store or even just make something happen over champagne with one of her girls. The point is, men aren't necessary to a girl save for one big thing...
What women need men for is to celebrate life!
They need you to make her look hot when she's dressed to the nines while heading out to the opera, bar, movie, party, etc. She wants other girls to see how hot she looks while you stare at her at the restaurant over lobster. To a woman, having a relationship that she can lord over others – in the most passive aggressive of ways, of course – is a huge deal and it makes her feel like she's special. This is her version of success in life and you need to be a big part of it.
So back to Valentine's Day. Is it a trumped-up holiday that is more designed for the ladies than for us? Of course. But guys, it is so important to make your girl feel that connection on this day. Get her the flowers, get her the jewelry, take her to or make her a great meal. Give her those looks, those touches, that passion that makes her shudder. Give her something to brag about to the ladies on Facebook or when she goes back to work the next day. Even if she tells you that she doesn't want anything, do it anywayI As the saying goes 'Happy wife, happy life'.
And remember, guys, making a big deal out of Valentine's Day means that she is going to be making a big deal for you the following month for 'Steak and BJ Day' – March 14th, circle your calendars. That alone is worth the investment!
Happy Valentine's Day everyone! •
Sean is a weekly columnist for SayItCanada. His columns address the modern realities in dating and relationships. He receives a variety of questions each week and answers as many as he can in the following 'Ask Sean'. Otherwise, Sean Michael is an enigma wrapped in a riddle and his bio is none of your business.
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