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Friday, 28-Apr-2017 02:09:07 EDT
american idol, we want simon back

American Idol is back this year for Season 12. The only one who keeps viewers from flipping the channel and the show from plummeting to a certain and long overdue death is... Ryan Seacrest.

American Idol, Nicki is no Simon Cowell. When will you get it? We want Simon back.

This dried up show is going to end at some point, right? I hope so! The talent is still great, but that’s only part of what we come to see – we tune in to hear the celebrities give their opinions and advice in the judges' panel and to see the whack jobs that think they have talent but don’t stand a chance. The only one who keeps us from flipping the channel and the show from plummeting to a certain long and overdue death is... Ryan Seacrest.

The show returned this year with the beloved and admired Randy Jackson and the always cool and unflappable Ryan Seacrest. It also returned with three new judges: Keith Urban, Nicki Minaj and Mariah Carey.

Randy is the same as always – smooth, calm and collected.

Keith is the nice, try-hard country guy who is caught between a rock and a hard place. Or should I say, a mountain of makeup and a heap of plastic surgery. I’m sure Keith just wants to be in his own bulletproof and soundproof judging booth, just to get away from the madness.

Nicki and Mariah are probably the most annoying women I have ever seen in my life! Bickering back and forth like the two divas they are. With a rivalry right from the getgo, I don’t know how long they will be able to keep this up! Nicki really just wants to be better than Mariah but, reality check, Mariah has twenty-three years under her belt and can actually sing.

It's so obvious that you're just jealous of Mariah, Nicki! And, what’s with the British accent? Are you channeling Simon? Quit it! You’re from the Bronx for crying out loud!

What’s with the wigs? The props?

Who do you think you are? Madonna? Gaga? Ummm, not even close.

The show would probably be better if it just hired a cow, a pig, and a monkey! Sorry Keith, but how about some emotion! You do have a personality, right? You’re no Steven Tyler, so show us a little passion!

Seriously, who picked this panel? Heads are rolling.

Maybe it’s time to add some Canadian flavour. If this was Canadian Idol (may it rest in peace), we could have Celine Dion and Shania Twain exchange poutine recipes. If Celine and Shania are too busy or classy, maybe the newly married couple Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger of Nickleback. Or, if Canadians are really desperate, maybe Justin Bieber!

Yes, American Idol has become that ridiculous...

Oh, how I long for days with the scathing yet usually justified Brit, Simon Cowell. There is no bite to this American Idol panel. Maybe adding some foreign content would bring another factor of desperately needed excitement to this show. Putting two uber divas on the same panel may have been too much. How are we supposed to admire the poor, talentless wannabes when the two queens are busy sucking the oxygen out of every scene?

The twelfth and perhaps last season began with a 19% drop in ratings from last year's premiere episode. How low do they have to go until someone pulls the plug? This has become a soap opera instead of a singing contest. It’s terrible.

Is Nicki ruining this for everyone? Should they do something drastic and give her the boot mid-season? Maybe Nicki needs her own show for all who enjoy being annoyed to death. Really, if this show has any chance of surviving, get her off! As a loyal viewer since the glorious beginning, I can’t stand watching the two drama queens bring it to its knees.

Unfortunately I’m not going to be watching until the bitter end. Sorry, Idol, this season is a thumbs down for me.

I want Simon back. WOOF!

Marcello's Media Meanderings
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