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Friday, 28-Apr-2017 02:08:45 EDT
ask sean: crazy talk SEAN MICHAEL
DATING AND RELATIONSHIP ADVICE (Mature content. 18yrs+)
When they believe in something so ridiculous, what does one do?
Okay, kids! I missed yet another week due to being busy so I'm going to make up for it by making this week's episode a little bit longer and a little bit huger. I'm not even going to give you a pre-show warm-up this time – just dig in...
THE ULTIMATE SEX POSITION
ARTISTIC SKILL asks:
What is the ultimate sex position and why?
SEAN says: Try not to have favourites of anything. When you have favourites, it just means you're longing for something else instead of appreciating what you have in front of you or even experimenting. Sort of like how when you first started drinking, you went out with your friends and had a great time. You then think drinking is your favourite. But then you find yourself drinking alone into a mess, but you don't realize how unfun it is; though you still lie to yourself that it's your favourite. When you're having sex, it's funner just to enjoy it all as it's happening. Enjoy it at the moment and let it all flow...•
Do you have a question?
I'M TOO SEXY FOR YOUR LOVE
SCARED TO LEAD GIRLS ON asks:
I have the opportunity to have sex with girls all the time, but I've had a sensitive side to me ever since I was young and I'm worried about hurting a woman's feelings. For example, there's this 23yr-old Latina chick that's crushing on me right now. She told me so and I'm confident we could chill and hook-up – but I know she's not someone I'm interested in beyond that. So it's easier to do nothing and not stress about it, worrying if I can successfully lead in that situation. I remind myself that she probably would love to be having sex with me, but I'm worried about creating drama.
Am I wrong to deprive myself because of these fears? I once knew a bartender who had a reputation for literally screwing "9's and 10's" and then breaking their hearts – one after another. Some guys truly are icy about it...
I'm not sure what to do. Thanks in advance.
SEAN says: If you read The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida, you will learn that the Masculine is the one that defines of the relationship; the feminine is the one that nurtures it. If you want to define a relationship with girls as 'I just want sex' and make that clear to them, then they will be fine if you stick to those rules. And even if they are not, then they can decide not to partake and you can find girls that will. You just have to be honest about how you want the 'relationship' to go and all will be fine. It's when you come at it from a deceptive way of making her feel there will be more, that you should feel guilt. But otherwise, it's your life so define it as you wish and I'm certain some women will be fine to play along.
By the way and for the record, David Deida defines Masculine and Feminine in his book but doesn't assign which gender they apply to. There are Feminine men that will work fine with Masculine Women. There are even Neutral traits that can be fine together or with a Masculine or Feminine sex or another Neutral.
However, in general, most women are Feminine in nature but when forced into a Masculine role because the men are not stepping up to a Masculine ideal, they will resent it. A lot of relationships fail because men aren't playing the Masculine role that Feminine Women are looking for.
A little ranty side note, but everyone knows how I like to rant anyway (wink!)... And if both parties are Masculine, they will fight each other for dominance on the daily. You may have been witness or party to one of those relationships too...•
Do you have a question?
THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE BUT YOU'RE OTHERWISE CUTE!
BEYOND LOGIC asks: Hey, Sean,
Okay, say you're going out with a girl for six months. It's going great – she's cute, funny, great conversation, and you feel she's the best mach you've met up to date. But one day you learn she believes in something that for you is a total nonsense, and it's even contradictory with her other beliefes and knowlede... but she fails and refuses to notice.\
Let's say she believes the world is flat. What do you do? Do you predict it's going to lead to arguments in the future so you man up and break up? or do you think that everyone has a right to their own beliefs and you just pretty much ignore them whilst concentrating on the good things between you two?
SEAN says: No two people see life exactly the same way. Even people that have the same religious beliefs don't believe it exactly the same way. Think of how many variations of Christianity there are alone. You will never find someone who interprets life the way you understand it, so don't expect to. Also, most people's beliefs are based on emotion and no logical 'proof' will dissuade them because logic doesn't speak to emotion. So save yourself from a fight and don't keep trying to logically evaluate her emotions. All you have to do is demonstrate that you understand why she believes what she does.
That is all that any debate or fight is based on. We think that the other person doesn't hear what we are saying so we harp on it over and over hoping they will get it. The other person does the same thing from their perspective trying to get you to understand them. In any fight, disagreement or misunderstanding, stop. Stop telling them your point, and try to say their point back to them until they feel you understand them. Then add your two cents in there too. You'll find that most disagreements, philosophies, fights, etc are really two people saying the same thing but from a different point of view.
To illustrate, there is an old Hindu parable about the three blind men in a pit with an elephant. One grabs the elephant's tail and says it's thin and slithery like a snake. The next mocks him and says it's strong and tall like a tree, because he is touching its leg. The next disagrees with both of them because he's holding onto the ear and saying it's flat and wide. They are all talking about the same elephant but their vantage points 'see' it totally different form one another.
Originally, this was meant as a parable about religions and how we all see God differently from our different viewpoints. But this works for pretty much any difference of opinion. Try to find where you mesh with others and you will have far greater relationships with everyone.
That's all for this week kids! To be continued...•
Sean Michael is an enigma wrapped in a riddle and his bio is none of your business.
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Friday, July 26, 2013