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Saturday, 29-Apr-2017 19:10:42 EDT
ask sean: why ladies cheat
SEAN MICHAEL
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DATING AND RELATIONSHIP ADVICE (Mature content. 18yrs+)



Why does your lady cheat?
Ask Sean.


Welcome back, kids! On this week's exciting adventure, we have two big questions. If you're like me, you're seeing some gorgeous weather outside and feeling the crunch of an awesome summer ahead. Are you looking to get into shape? Are you worried about why you failed to before? We're going to dig deep and learn the tricks to turning that keg into a six pack. If you want to get into shape and walk around that beach with some swagger, you need to read this.

And then we have a question about why your lady might be cheating on you. We're going to spell out the Top 10 Reasons for why women cheat. You want to keep your lady happy? and then learn why she might want to be getting some lovin' elsewhere? Then you gotta read through this one.

Enough blathering. Let's dig in, shall we?


GET HEALTHY – AND SEXY – IN TIME FOR SUMMER

LOSING THE POOCH asks:
I've lost 20lbs with just eating healthy since August but i still have that 'pooch' and I heard about doing the elliptical but I have vertigo and I'm trying not to die doing it... Sooooooo, any ideas ? I don't know how to do yoga. I'm thinking about zumba but I've heard some people don't lose the weight around their tummy area. Need some help here.

SEAN says:
Perfect. As many of my friends and family know, I am personally trying to get back into shape after many years of not being able to work out due to various health reasons. So fighting to get my weight down and my muscles big is huge for me at the moment. And as the good weather is starting to come out, everyone wants to look a little prettier. Here's how:

First of all, you need to change your mindset about working out. There are two main forms of motivation for everything: Reward and Suffering.

  • If you are afraid to do something because you will suffer, you won't do it;
  • If you don't feel a reward for doing something, you won't do it;
  • In the form of exercise and eating healthy, if you look at doing a workout as pain and suffering, you will fail; and,
  • If you see eating a bag of brownies as a reward you will fail. This is exactly why anyone who has ever failed at this had fallen apart.

Now, if you want to succeed, you need to reverse that. When you exercise, there is a euphoria you feel afterwards: your muscles feel tingly, your body tightens up, you feel healthier, and you feel awesome. It is a Reward to do a great workout.

You need to love your workouts – it alone needs to be your Reward. Eating a bag of brownies should make it feel like it's a penalty: it takes away from all of your progress, and you feel like crap because your body needs real nutrition (plus it feels gross to eat crap when you are so proud of your progress).

All you need to do is reframe how you see these things so that your Rewards and Sufferings are in the right places. It's this mentality that has made you succeed at everything you've ever had victory over in your life. So use it here too.

Next, if you are trying to lose the gut, you need to realize that it doesn't matter how many crunches and how many miles you run if you are eating five Big Mac Meals per day. You will never win your battle this way. They say ‘Abs are made in the kitchen' – and this is so true. It's what you eat that gets that gut down, not the exercise. 70% diet, 30% workout is responsible for those abs we all want. For me personally, I've been eating a Paleo Diet which consists of meats, greens, veggies and fruits. Note there are no starches like potatoes and rice, no breads, etc. I've lost over 60lbs so far.

Talk to your doctor and find out what diet plan will work for you.

And finally, find an exercise program that is fun to do and works for you. I'm doing P90X because I like the combination of weight lifting, yoga, karate, pushups and stretching. You might like something else. If you're doing the gym, make sure you have a trainer for the first little while at least to make sure you do the workouts correctly to avoid damaging / hurting yourself. But just keep it fun. Let it be the Reward you want to feel good.

Get into this mentality and you can move mountains. Good luck!


Do you have a question?


WHY A WOMAN CHEATS

CHEATERS asks:
What makes a woman cheat?

SEAN says:
Good question. Here are the Top 10 Reasons why a woman would cheat:

  • #10 – Not enough sex:
    Remember the good old days when you could stay up forever fooling around? Then responsibility entered the mix – and kids – and before you knew it, sleep was more important than sex. Well, women want to feel wanted. If you're not making her feel that way, she could seek it elsewhere. To keep that spark alive, ask her out on date nights, send her provocative e-mails at lunch, and by all means, don't let life get in the way of kissing, cuddling and sex.

  • #9 – Being the bad girl:
    Just as men feel the urge to sow their wild oats, some women have an inner sex kitten just waiting to be unleashed – and when the beast escapes from the cage, look out. This frisky behavior usually rears its ugly head in response to some sort of life change – major weight loss, new job, new friends, mid-life crisis, etc. Keep the lines of communication open and she'll be more likely to talk to you about what's going on instead of spilling her guts to a stranger in the night.

  • #8 – Self-esteem:
    Sex can be an instant pick-me-up; a self-esteem booster that makes women feel sexier, more beautiful and more loved. If your wife or girlfriend has self-esteem issues, it doesn't mean she's automatically going to cheat – and it's certainly not your fault if she does – but there are ways to make her feel secure in the relationship that could help her from straying. Pay attention to her, ask her questions and don't hold back on compliments – a little flattery goes a long way with women.

  • #7 – Revenge / payback for past wrongs:
    No, you didn't cheat, but whether you blew your retirement fund in Vegas or got caught in a big lie, you did break her trust (and, possibly, her heart). She feels wounded and betrayed – and wants to hurt you the same way you hurt her. To regain her trust, it's not enough just to tell her you're sorry; you have to show her. Actions speak louder than words.

  • #6 – Lack of intimacy:
    You have it all: the house, the two-car garage and the two-and-a-half bathrooms – at least on the outside. But inside, the relationship is lacking the one thing women want most: intimacy. It's not just sex that makes women feel connected in a relationship; it's touching, kissing, cuddling, and communicating. Women crave it, and she could seek it elsewhere if she's not getting it at home. To improve intimacy, spend quality time together, give her a foot massage, make a romantic dinner for two – anything that will give her a sense of unity and closeness.

  • #5 – Feeling neglected / ignored / underappreciated:
    Women wear many hats in a relationship – housekeeper, errand-runner, grocery shopper, babysitter, etc. When she feels more like a maid than a girlfriend/wife, that's when she could stray. The fact that you spend all your time at work or on the golf course gives her double reason to seek attention elsewhere. No, you can't quit your job, but you can thank her for all her selfless deeds – and do your share around the house.

  • #4 – Your emotional withdrawal:
    Women are emotional beings. Not only do they need physical support, but they also need emotional support. Once you retreat from the relationship, she sees it as a sign that things are through – a breakup is inevitable. So, she's not really cheating, she's moving on. To avoid this, be present in the relationship. Yes, that means sharing your icky feelings, but it's better than the alternative, right?

  • #3 – Bedroom boredom:
    Sex can become monotonous if you let it – the same position; the same setting; the same person. An affair adds adventure and gets her adrenalin flowing. To avoid routine, avoid repetition. Sweep her away for the weekend, make out at the movies, kiss her for no reason at all... The unexpected adds excitement.

  • #2 – Exit strategy:
    Instead of breaking up with you, she cheats on you. That way she doesn't have to deal with the broken relationship, which is much harder to fix. An affair is the easy way out -- or at least that's how she sees it. That's another reason communication is key. Let her know that she can talk to you about anything and that you love her enough to work through any bumps in the relationship road.

  • And finally, #1 – Revenge for your cheating:
    Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Because you cheated, she wants to get back at you and give you a dose of your own medicine. Cheating is her vengeance, her chance to even the playing field. No, you can't undo your indiscretion, but you can ask for her forgiveness, assure her it will never happen again and suggest couples therapy to help you get through this tough time.

After that, make sure condoms are used and get yo' freak on...

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Sean Michael is an enigma wrapped in a riddle and his bio is none of your business.

Sean Michael
©2013 SayItCanada.ca. All rights reserved.

MATURE CONTENT 18yrs +

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Ask Sean is an advice column to be used for informational and for entertainment purposes only. By submitting a letter to this website, you grant SayItCanada permission to publish it on this site or elsewhere including print publications. Your name and email address will never be included or distributed. Due to the large number of letters received, there is no guarantee that a question will be responded to.

SayItCanada and Sean Michael reserve the right to edit letters for length and clarity.

SayItCanada and Coach Sean Michael are not responsible for the outcome or results following his advice in any given situation. You are completely responsible for your actions and Sean Michael does not accept any liability for any situation in your life past, present or future.

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