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Saturday, 29-Apr-2017 19:13:54 EDT
ask sean: bullying SEAN MICHAEL
DATING AND RELATIONSHIP ADVICE (Mature content. 18yrs+)
Why do women call each other sluts?
All right kids, this week we are going to be shaking up the format a bit. In last week's episode, we talked about why women were labelled as ‘sluts' while men were labelled as ‘studs' – or what have you – for similar behavior. Anyway, a conversation came out of that sparked by how I had missed something: ‘Why do Women call each other sluts?' In defense, I was going a little long for my article and couldn't go into it, but we should remedy that now. Be warned, I am going to go into some sensitive ideas that aren't entirely politically correct, but I respect you enough not to dumb it down for you. So, why do women call each other sluts?
Bullying is a big issue these days and a lot of people get incensed when they see stories like Amanda Todd's and they try to start a revolution in trying to stave it off from happening again in their school. They never really seem to answer why bullying happens and why it is so prominent in our society. The why is the bigger issue and it is an inherent part of human nature that will never be vanquished. Here's why:
Bullying happens because of humanity's set-up of its hierarchical systems. In any given group, there is always the leader, always the follower. The bigger the group, the more positions come out of it. But the fact of the matter is, one is at the top and the rest follow in various degrees. Now this doesn't fit in with a ‘everyone is equal' point of view so much, but the fact is, humanity doesn't feel relaxed until they believe their place is settled in the group.
Let's take an example. If I was speaking to you from a stage right now, you and the audience would see me as a leader. I'd be speaking my wisdom to you, you would nod approvingly, maybe ask me some questions, clap and laugh and we'd all have a great time. But now imagine the standing ovations are over and I'm riding the bus home. Have you noticed how people don't talk to each other on the bus? Have you noticed why people don't talk to each other on the elevator? It is because there are no established leaders. No one knows where they fit in the hierarchy. No one knows whether they should feel superior to someone or be laying on their backs in surrender like a dog asking for a belly rub.
Do you have a question?
This is what is happening in our schools. The kids don't know where they fit in the social ladder. They are emotional, insecure, and they are terrified to be the one left out. Keep in mind that from our evolution in time, ‘survival of the fittest' was the way of things and to be the one that is left out, is the one that is going to die and have no genetic eternity through their offspring. We are programmed to still feel that pain when we are left out because it is a survival technique in order to make our bodies fight to not die off. So kids in school will do anything in order to not be at the bottom of the totem pole. How do they do this?
Well, since we're talking about bullying: they try to push someone else down to the bottom. If someone else is teased, beaten, ostracized in some way, then the bully goes up at least one rank.
Do I condone this? Of course not. But I definitely recognize why it is happening...
In the workforce, the only thing that prevents more bullying is the structure of the hierarchy. The boss leads, the managers manage, the workers work, the janitors janit. But have you noticed that if the boss isn't strong in his role as leader, that the whole workforce begins to crumble? In the case of wolves, if the Alpha isn't 100% leader all of the time and drops to 99%, a new wolf will challenge him to lead. And the wolfpack will not settle until it is decided. We are no different. We need that stability, we need to know where we land on the ladder or we feel stressed out.
This works on a macro level as well. The USA is the big bully of countries at the moment and its only reason for success is because it's taking from third world countries to find riches and status over other countries. It even spends more than half of its income on military to make sure it always has the biggest stick.
Some of you might be reading this and thinking to yourself, "I'm not a bully, I would never push someone down in order to gain advantage..."
Well, let me ask you: How are those comfy shoes you're wearing? Did some kid in a third world make those for you? Is that kid on equal footing with you? Of course not. You wanted cheaper shoes, you stood on someone else to get them.
Do you have a question?
So back to the point of this piece, why to women call other women sluts? It's about bullying, it's about trying to raise their status in our social ladder, it's about trying to feel better about themselves at the expense of another woman.
But one thing that I didn't mention yet is, did you notice that people who have the upper status never really need to fight? If they are secure in who they are, their place in this world – and what they want out of life – they don't have to bully anyone. They feel enriched from within, they don't need to make anyone feel less about themselves, they are emotionally secure.
I personally don't think that bullying will ever end completely. There will always be a bigger country, always someone labelled a slut, always some kid being pushed down in elementary school. But if we understand that survival of the fittest isn't the case anymore – at least for the moment – and that we can all have our piece of the pie, then we can learn to move away from hurting others.
It's my hope anyway. Hope it's yours too...
Until next week. •
Sean Michael is an enigma wrapped in a riddle and his bio is none of your business.
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Wednesday, March 20, 2013