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Friday, 28-Apr-2017 02:09:46 EDT
masculine, feminine, neutral SEAN MICHAEL
DATING AND RELATIONSHIP ADVICE (Mature content. 18yrs+)
Can a girl ever be 'too' wet?
This week's excitement starts off with another request for learning how to talk to girls... I'm guessing this is going to be a theme because guys seem to want girls – and guys seem to also suck at getting them. (wink!)
We will shift gears into learning how to argue when neither person knows how.
Then the dangers of having a 'Friends With Benefits' relationship.
And finally, well, I don't know how to prep that one without you just going 'down there'.
Valentine's Day is coming and I will be discussing that in an article later on this week. Send me your questions and plans for the big day. But until then, this week's adventures of 'Ask Sean' begin now...
I CHICKEN OUT
I'm shy around girls... Whenever I see a girl I might want to hit up, I want to talk to her. When I get up the courage to talk to her, I chicken out... How do I start a conversation with a girl?
SEAN says: In a previous 'Ask Sean', we talked about going to a mall, spraying a few colognes on your arms and asking girls their opinions on which ones smelled better on you. This was just to get used to the idea that girls are easy to talk to and it's not that tough. I would suggest you start there. But also, try talking to girls that are paid to talk to you. Waitresses, sales people, the barista at your favourite coffee shop. They are going to smile and be friendly no matter what – because it’s their job to. Just go in, have a short pleasant conversation, and see if you can get her to smile.
You should also look at a girl as an equal to you instead of a savior who is going to change your life and make it better. When you put someone up on a pedestal, they can only ever look down at you. So find some self-worth. Things that make you proud of who you are, things that make you a valuable person. One that 'wants' a girlfriend to share adventures with, not 'needs' a girlfriend to save him from his crappy outlook on life. •
Do you have a question?
PROBLEM asks: My spouse and I are well suited for each other and understand one another quite well. The only problem we have is knowing how to argue! We think it's because we don't have enough practice, since it's not very often we find ourselves in this situation. It is a problem because nothing ever gets resolved. My blood just boils and then we're fine again. Are we too thick-skinned to budge on our points of view?
In the 'Way of the Superior Man', he talks about how there are different kinds of people. There is the Masculine, there is the Feminine, and there is the Neutral. The Masculine is to define the relationship, the Feminine to nurture it – and the Neutrals do a bit of both. If both parties act masculine, they are always volatile as they fight each other for dominance. If both are feminine, they lose direction and get lost in emotional battles. If both are neutral, they don't really fight that much at all. Keep in mind, the gender of these three traits is completely arbitrary.
It's hard to get a full reading from such a short message, but I'm guessing that you two are neutrals and because of it, fights aren't as necessary to your relationship in order to define it. There seems to be some tension as one or the other (or both) of you try to stray into a masculine or feminine definition, but it's short-lived and you settle back into the neutral zone soon after. It should mean for a very stable relationship, all in all.
Now as far as finding resolution to problems that come up, one of you will have to take on a masculine role. Keep in mind, the masculine role doesn't get lost in the emotion of the problem, just looking for definition and resolution. If done right, the feminine role will automatically arise in your spouse, and they may scream / yell / cry / etc. But if you stay calm in the masculine, they will eventually calm down to your level and accept the definitions you've made. •
Do you have a question?
TESTING FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS
Hi, I have a 'Friends With Benefits' for five months. But now we are talking a bit more and I think that he is starting to feel something for me. I can't be 100% sure and I don't want to ask because I'm afraid he will leave. Is there anything I can do to test it?
SEAN says: Friends With Benefits can be a dangerous game. In most cases, one of you is likely to break the pact and fall for the other one. You really need to be open with each other and strict on the rules to make it work. If he is developing feelings for you, it's best to just address it now and either modify the relationship or nullify it. •
CAN A GIRL EVER BE...?
Can a girl ever be too wet?
SEAN says: Ummm... NO.The longer answer to that is: any physical sign that a girl is turned on and horny is just going to turn on the guy and make him horny. Don't feel embarrassed about that at all.•
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Wednesday, March 20, 2013