SayItCanada.ca is an independent online resource and is supported solely by advertising.

Friday, 28-Apr-2017 02:09:11 EDT
ask sean: leave or stay
previous  next

A player, just a friend, or the person of your dreams?
Ask Sean.

In this thrilling episode of Ask Sean, we are going to learn about how a shy guy can finally overcome 'said shyness' and learn to become comfortable around girls. We’re going to learn what to do when you feel trapped in a relationship but are sticking it out ‘for the kids’. We are going find out why girls look for monogamy with rich and powerful men, whilst the boys are slutting around with any girl willing to raise her skirt. And finally, we’re going to find out how you girls can see through the veneer and figure out if he is really into you, or if he's just that player trying to raise your skirt.

So sit back and get comfy, place your learning caps on your heads, and let the wisdom of Ask Sean envelope you...


How do I talk to a girl I have never met before? I don't know how to just walk up and start a conversation. I get scared and freeze up. How do I tell if she is interested and I'm not bugging her or how do I keep her attention?

This sucks! I know nothing about girls or dating. I've been in long relationships my whole life – I’m 29yrs-old and have had only three girlfriends.

SEAN says:
Let’s take care of that shyness first. Tomorrow – or whenever you can – I want you to go to the local mall into the Cologne section and spray a couple of fragrances on your arms. Next, go up to a girl and ask her, "Excuse me, I need a woman's opinion. Which Cologne do you think smells best?" She will tell you. Thank her and then find a new girl (after some time has lapsed). Do this a few times. As you get used to just talking to girls, add a few more questions if you want. But all you're looking for is to see that talking to girls is no big deal.

Next, there are body language cues to indicate that she may be interested in you. Things like flipping / twirling her hair, eye contact, biting her bottom lip, etc. But the one main way to tell if she is interested is if she hasn't left yet. If she isn't interested, she will find a way to excuse herself.

Things to keep in mind:

  • When you approach the girls in the mall, don't come up from behind them;
  • Stand tall with shoulders back, cock forward, and not square to her like you're about to fight her;
  • Keep eye contact and don't look down at your feet or do nervous laughter; and,
  • Remain calm, relaxed and in control.

You will get better with some practice. Good luck!

Do you have a question?


I have been with my boyfriend for almost four years. First year was good in every area... but then things seemed to change and I don’t feel they will get better.

But the reason I haven't left is because I have four little peole to think about too. Their daddy passed away in 2009 – and they love this guy to death. I don’t want to break their hearts.

PS He still has not told his family we are together.

SEAN says:
Kids learn from what they see you do more than what you tell them. If you choose not to seek happiness, you are telling them that they should sacrifice their happiness too. Is this the lesson you want them to learn?

Go see a counselor and see if things are fixable between you two. But don’t stick together ‘for the kids’, because you are and will be doing them a great disservice.

Do you have a question?


Am I the only one who doesn't automatically think something sexual when a hot guy passes? I see it a lot and I am beginning to wonder about myself here... For me, there has to be some kind of connection, usually other than physical for me to be physically attracted to someone. Does that makes sense?

SEAN says:
Men and Women look for different things in each other because of the sexual advantages they are looking for:

  • A man has millions of sperm. It is to his advantage to impregnate as many women as possible because if one of the girls or children dies, he has more out there to keep his genetic legacy alive. So guys are generally horn dogs looking for the next hot (re: healthy and likely to bare good offspring for him) girl to stick it to.

  • Women only have one egg per month for a limited length of time in her life, takes 9 months to have a baby, and 18 or so years to raise it. She has to be far more picky about the process because: what if he leaves? Does he have wealth to provide the best for her genetic immortality? Will his intelligence be passed on so they are given better and more successful lives? The guy she has sex with might have great abs which might also make good, strong, and healthy kids that have an easier time making the next generation, but it's rarely the lone factor.

So basically, nothing wrong with you at all. Women just look for different things from men than men of women. It's how our genes tell us to run our lives. It doesn't mean we have to listen to them, but they are still going to pressure us anyway.

Do you have a question?


How true is it that men want to sample the goods before deciding to pursue a relationship with a woman? I don't want to play games by holding out when I am really interested in a man (always for more than sex... my personal choice), but neither do I want to be giving free samples to men to have no interest in considering a relationship with me.

I like to take my time getting to know a person first, and want to only have sex with people that are interested in a relationship. I'm trying to understand where men are coming from, but also hints that tell me if a man is only trying to get sex from me.

Any clues you can suggest that would help me screen out the users?

SEAN says:
Okay, you’re on a date together. The conversation has begun (Open) and things are getting flirty, fun and exciting (Attraction) as he does those innocent touches, maybe flipping the hair out your eyes. Jokes, giggles – ‘I can’t believe he just said that’ – and so on. As things progress, there will be a time when he really starts to open up to you (Comfort). He tells you about his childhood, his dreams, he asks you about yours, which Disney Princess you saw yourself as, etc, there is some kissing and holding, maybe some massages. Final stage (Sex) is where things are moving towards the bedroom, touching is more intimate, clothes are starting to disappear, and foreplay kicks into gear well before the banshee-like screams flow from your lungs.

That is the ideal. Open, Attraction, Comfort, Sex.

Now the key to this whole thing is Comfort. A Player won’t open up to you and he won’t care about who you are as a person – he just wants to get at your naughty bits and have his fun. If your date goes: Open, Attraction, Sex, well m'dear, you’ve found yourself a one-night-stand.

As a side note, you will find that a lot of guys that you have put in the 'friend zone' over the years flipped things backwards. They did Open, Comfort and then Attraction. Doing that means he’s revealed his soul to you without demonstrating that he was interested in you sexually. He also killed all the mystery and excitement that comes from the flirtiness of Attraction. This is also something that guys forget when in relationships when they are so comfortable with the girl that they forget to attract her and seduce her from the beginning of the day to the climax of night.

Anyway, the true measure of finding out if the guy is just a player, just a friend, or the Man of your dreams is where and if he introduces Comfort to the game...

previous  next


Sean Michael is an enigma wrapped in a riddle and his bio is none of your business.

Sean Michael
©2013 SayItCanada.ca. All rights reserved.

Mature content. 18yrs+

Ask Sean is an advice column to be used for informational and for entertainment purposes only. By submitting a letter to this website, you grant SayItCanada permission to publish it on this site or elsewhere including print publications. Your name and email address will never be included or distributed. Due to the large number of letters received, there is no guarantee that a question will be responded to.

SayItCanada and Sean Michael reserve the right to edit letters for length and clarity.

SayItCanada and Coach Sean Michael are not responsible for the outcome or results following his advice in any given situation. You are completely responsible for your actions and Sean Michael does not accept any liability for any situation in your life past, present or future.

Blog about Asian / Canadian food recipes
SayItCanada.ca Advertising Opportunities
Web page content last updated Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Find Your City
Home | Profile | Advertising Rates | Join | Partners | Testimonials | Contact Us
Mission Statement | Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Copyright | Disclaimer